Listening to Understand

I LOVE to talk! Trust me! It's one of my best qualities!! I rarely am at a loss of what to talk about! Rarely!!

While my strong point is talking, my weak point is listening! During a conversation I have noticed that I tend to tune the other person out and start thinking about what I'm going to say next.

I saw this quote yesterday and thought it worded this problem perfectly!!

Here it is....

"The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply."
-Gabriel Garcia Marquiz



I so often listen to reply and don't take the time to really hear what that other person is saying. It makes me wonder, am I really caring and loving that person by tuning them out and selfishly trying to determine what I'm going to say next? No, of course not!!! What I'm doing is completely selfish and unloving!!

Now, having thought out replies is a good thing and is a wise move, however, focusing on what the other person is ACTUALLY saying can help in having an intelligent comeback and lead to a very thoughtful conversation.



You can learn a lot about people when you actually listen to them and hear what they have to say!

Now, the hardest part is actually listening to understand not to just reply.

The action part is way harder than just recognizing the problem!!
This is the part that I still struggle with!

So I think that once you recognize that you struggle with listening, you can move onto spending time in prayer, asking God to help you overcome this struggle, because we obviously can't do it by ourselves! I think we also need to start changing our thinking- it's not about how many words we can get into a conversation, it's about what you can learn from a conversation or how you can encourage this other person!

Some people just want a listening ear! They don't always want someone to try to insert their opinions or solutions, but someone who will encourage them and just hear and understand them! So start thinking about it that way! Start telling yourself that this person really needs someone to just listen not talk!!


Not to mention, your relationships are guaranteed to be strengthened just by listening to understand, because...

1) You are putting someone else's needs above your own.

and.....

2) You are actually hearing their likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams, struggles, etc!

You can learn a lot about someone just by talking to them!

I know I didn't have an actual solution for you guys, I'm still trying to figure it out myself! But I hope, f nothing else you can know that you aren't the only one who struggles with this!

Praying for you guys!!

Love,
Cait