Lovin When I Don't Wanna

Awhile ago, I wrote a post about loving when it's hard....(you can read it here...http://catydidgirl.blogspot.com/2015/06/loving-when-its-hard.html) but what about those times when you just straight out don't want to love them and plain hate them (maybe hate is too strong of a word...or maybe not..)???

Be honest with yourself...I think we all have a person that we just down right refuse to love!

Don't worry....I'm not judging you!! Trust me!! I have people in my life that I just hate!! This post is as much for me as it is for you!!



Whether this person gave you reason to hate them or you just flat out want to hate them, it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter who they are, or why do have this level of dislike for them, you just do, and you kind of want to!

I uh, hate to break it to you though, (myself included) that this 'emotion' (ha, you got that right!!) towards this human being (are they even human?) is sin...(darn it!!) Yeah, God says to love everybody (maybe this person won't count, maybe, just maybe there will be a legitimate reason for me to be allowed to hate them...please!!)



Nope!!! God says in the Ten Commandments, to love your neighbor as much as yourself. Unless you completely despise and hate yourself, which I'm pretty sure you don't, since we are selfish human beings, who sometimes love ourselves too much...you have to love this person (it's okay, get red in the face, scream, and throw the nearest object next to you across the room...I did that already!)

I don't want to love the person I detest either! They have done so much to bother me and torment me...( I may have twisted their words a little bit, but hey, it's probably what they mean...right?)

However, if we are truly followers of Christ, we should desire to do what is right and love this person. But sometimes, I honestly, really, really, don't want to, despite what God says!!!

But here are somethings that help me take a step in the right direction.

1) Start viewing them as human beings with a soul: I know that sounds weird, but I think it's true!! Sometime when we hate somebody our emotions get in the way and we unconsciously (or consciously) view them monster-like and think that every word they say or everything they do is pure evil (maybe a bit of an exaggeration).

If none of you feel this way then...I'm going to delete this blog, shut my laptop, and personally admit myself to a psychiatric hospital because I clearly need help!!

If you do feel the same way, then GREAT!!! Well... okay maybe not great...but hey, at least I'm not crazy!

In all seriousness, when you start looking at this person and viewing them as a person with a soul and as someone who could either be going to heaven or hell, it creates a tenderness and compassion towards that person!

Again...a step in the right direction!

2) Stop twisting their words and actions!!! I know it's hard to break old habits, but really, it only strengthens your hate and feeds the emotion!

3) Put yourself in their shoes: A classic, might I add!!

4) Let it go: Right now I'm singing that song...and since you can't hear me...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU
You can thank me later!!!



Stopping this emotion won't happen over night, it will take LOTS of prayer, dedication, and patience! But trust me, it will be worth it! Hating someone is so straining and is a weight on your shoulders!



So there you are! it won't be easy, but with God's help you can do it!! We will all be trying to love the people we hat together! And dare I say...we might actually like them??? Who knows!!

Love you all!!!
Good Luck!!
~Cait

Finding the Light in Singleness

 I don’t really feel adequate writing on this topic, but it is something that I struggled, and still struggle with! I’m not a 26 year old where this is something that actually is a big issue, but I think I still have about the same thought process!

I cringe at the word singleness! Ugg, that word! Just, uggg! Okay I'm done! When I think of the word single I think of an old maid…. someone I would rather not be! No offense my old maid friends!

 I don't know about you (you meaning my single friends!), but I want to settle down and get married (when I’m old enough obviously!) I have had that dream for as long as I can remember! I have my wedding planned out, kid's names picked, dream home decorated…..etc!

Getting married and having that strong handsome prince charming is something that our society has…hmmm, exalted. Think of all those Disney princess movies that we girls (and guys…I’m talking to you too!!)  watched and re-watched when we were little! (*confession* I still watch them!)  

Hollywood has drilled the fact that in order to be happy or have a Happy Ever After… we must have a boyfriend or girlfriend! I hate to break it to you my friends, but though I have never had a boyfriend I can tell you that they can’t make you completely happy! They will let you down; break your heart, and a lot of other stuff! There is only one who can truly satisfy that craving for love and that is our Beloved Creator, Redeemer, Jesus Christ!

I digress…

I have struggled in the past with feelings of discontent because many of my friends around me were getting ‘asked out’, or dating, and none of that had ever happened to me! That really bothered me! It bothered me so much that it consumed me!

  

I felt sad and gave up hope that I would ever get married and be able to use those names for my kids, or decorate my dream house!

A little extreme and ridiculous? Yeah I would agree!

Those feelings were of someone who had not yet been satisfied in the point of life that God had put them in! Yeah that was me!

I can't remember the point in where God actually showed me this... whether it was book I read, a blog post, or a conversation with someone. But that is beside the point! The point is, God worked in that moment. He basically told me that I wasn’t letting Him be enough. I didn't trust Him! I was trying to take matters into my own hands and making a mess of my own heart in the process! (Now I know why we aren't center of our universe...because we really screw this thing up!)

It is super hard! I'm not denying that! Trust me I struggle with this every single day! So don't think for a minute that I am saying this is a piece of cake!

When I started to view my current singleness as a blessing, I began to think...Wow, this whole singleness thing is actually pretty cool!!! I can focus on the passions and gifts that God has given to me, I can be open to how God wants me to further his kingdom, and say yes to the opportunities that may arise out of the blue!

My friends...being married is a beautiful thing (at least I'm assuming it is! I'm not really knowledgeable in that department), but God created singleness too! He gave us a time to do everything that we want to do (those things we want to do should be what God wants us to do....just saying!) before we are having to provide for and take care of a family!

These single years are an amazing blessing my friends!!!!!

Love,

~Cait