Listening to Understand

I LOVE to talk! Trust me! It's one of my best qualities!! I rarely am at a loss of what to talk about! Rarely!!

While my strong point is talking, my weak point is listening! During a conversation I have noticed that I tend to tune the other person out and start thinking about what I'm going to say next.

I saw this quote yesterday and thought it worded this problem perfectly!!

Here it is....

"The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply."
-Gabriel Garcia Marquiz



I so often listen to reply and don't take the time to really hear what that other person is saying. It makes me wonder, am I really caring and loving that person by tuning them out and selfishly trying to determine what I'm going to say next? No, of course not!!! What I'm doing is completely selfish and unloving!!

Now, having thought out replies is a good thing and is a wise move, however, focusing on what the other person is ACTUALLY saying can help in having an intelligent comeback and lead to a very thoughtful conversation.



You can learn a lot about people when you actually listen to them and hear what they have to say!

Now, the hardest part is actually listening to understand not to just reply.

The action part is way harder than just recognizing the problem!!
This is the part that I still struggle with!

So I think that once you recognize that you struggle with listening, you can move onto spending time in prayer, asking God to help you overcome this struggle, because we obviously can't do it by ourselves! I think we also need to start changing our thinking- it's not about how many words we can get into a conversation, it's about what you can learn from a conversation or how you can encourage this other person!

Some people just want a listening ear! They don't always want someone to try to insert their opinions or solutions, but someone who will encourage them and just hear and understand them! So start thinking about it that way! Start telling yourself that this person really needs someone to just listen not talk!!


Not to mention, your relationships are guaranteed to be strengthened just by listening to understand, because...

1) You are putting someone else's needs above your own.

and.....

2) You are actually hearing their likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams, struggles, etc!

You can learn a lot about someone just by talking to them!

I know I didn't have an actual solution for you guys, I'm still trying to figure it out myself! But I hope, f nothing else you can know that you aren't the only one who struggles with this!

Praying for you guys!!

Love,
Cait

All About Me...Round 2

So I did an 'All About Me' post when I first started blogging, but that has been quite a few months ago!! Not that I, personally, have changed...it's just that I have new people viewing my blog and well....in all honesty...who doesn't like talking about themselves?

Ahem...I just said that...whoops...

Okay...moving on!

Actually...I don't really have anything big right now to share with you all so I had to do something!! Anything!!

So, I thought I would find some questions...like 'get to know you' questions and answer them! I just picked these questions randomly so I'm not really sure what all I got!!

Okay so first things first..Some important and random things about me...

I'm 17 and 9 months and my favorite color is blue (really random, I know...I just feel like that is one of the first things that people ask you!) ....I just graduated High School and am continuing my education in Nursing...ummm, even though I'm going into Nursing my dream job would to probably be a stunt driver...I LOVE the thrill! (I'm a safe driver though...don't worry!!)

Now to the questions!
1) If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Hmmmmm, such a hard question...I want to go everywhere!! I guess if I had to pick one place it would probably be India!

 

Look at that!! Who wouldn't want to go there! I think their culture is so fascinating! So if I had to pick ONE place...India it would be! 

2) Who, in the United States do you think has the coolest job? Why? 

Okay, so I guess I have two answers...one totally serious the other...more fun

I think the coolest job that someone could possibly have would be our missionaries! Day in and day out they are doing the Lord's work, bringing people to Christ! To me...that is the coolest thing ever!! So I guess we are all missionaries in a sense...sharing the gospel with everyone we come into contact with! At least, that's how it should be! ;)

The second answer to that question I think would be our special ops (Seals, Delta, etc)...with my brother wanting to go into that kind of field I hear about the kind of stuff they do ALL THE TIME!!! Super cool! 

3) What do you think is the most dangerous thing for a teenager and why? 

 

Woah...this question is going deep!! I think one of the most dangerous things for a teenager would be our lack of confidence in both our abilities and ourselves! I think so many problems would be solved if we weren't so scared to show or act on our God given abilities! 

4) What qualities do you look for in a friend? 

 

-Loyalty

-honesty

-someone who puts in as much in for the friendship as I do!

-someone who has the same morals

-someone who has about the same goals in life

5) Where do I see myself in 10 years? 

Let's see...I would be 27....

I guess I could see myself working in a Shock Trauma or ER setting at a local hospital. God-willing I would be married and have a couple kids! 

6) What are the top 5 things you like to do?

-Hang out with friends doing pretty much anything! As long as I am with people...I don't care!

-Reading

-Writing...obviously!!

-Pretty much anything active, hiking, exercising, sports (I'm REALLY bad at all of them though)

-and taking pictures

7) One favorite quote

Seriously?!?! Just one!! I have a whole book of my favorite quotes!! 

If I have to pick just one...it would be ....

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway. What you spend years building someone can destroy overnight. Build anyway. If you are hones people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous, Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."- Mother Theresa

She was an amazing woman and did amazing work in India! 

8) What did you do growing up that got you into trouble?

 Ugg I always got into trouble! I probably got into the most trouble for my back-talking...I was and still am a sassy one! 

9) What do you miss most abut being a kid? 

 

I miss not being worried or stressed about anything and having quite the imagination!  I mean I still do...but if I played the same things that I did when I was 8 I would probably be put into a mental institution!

Last Question!!

10) What has been your biggest success so far? 

I think those words that Paul wrote to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:12

¹² Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

have really rung true in my life! Learning to do hard things and not let the cliche...teenagers are incapable of doing anything ring true for my life has been a big thing! 

I went to a conference a long time ago (like 7 years ago)...the conference was called Do Hard Things and it was all about rebelling against the low expectations that society has for us teens! It was a life changer! That was when God pushed me outside of my comfort zone by raising money/running a 5K, going on multiple mission trips and planning a benefit concert for orphan awareness! 

So I would say, God pushing me out of my comfort zone has created some of the best memories and my greatest successes!!

Well that's it friends! Hopefully you got to know me a little better!! If you have any questions for me comment below, shoot me a message or post on my facebook page! 

Love you all! 

Cait

Loving When It's Hard

Love is hard!

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy or boast
Love is not arrogant
Love is not rude
Love does not insist on its own way
Love doesn't rejoice at the wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
LOVE NEVER ENDS!!!
(paraphrased from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

When we say the word 'love' what is the image that comes to your mind?

Typically we see something like this....




A romantic relationship between two people.

Just to be clear, I'm not talking about romantic interests in this post! That shall be for a different post one day!
No, this post is about loving when it's hard (in case you didn't catch that from the title!!) like...loving your enemies; the people that dislike you and bully you!

Now, I have never been bullied before...like ever! In fact I have pretty much always been the more popular kid...or at least liked by the majority of the group!

So when I started working I fully expected to be liked...or at the very least...tolerated! Well, one of my co-workers in particular absolutely hated me...and still does! She  gossiped behind my back (not very well though...because I could normally hear this person), said nasty things to my face, tried to make me fail and make things harder for me, etc! It was extremely eye opening and extremely hurtful! Thankfully friends at work told me to brush it off and not let it get to me! They continued to build me up and encourage me, which really helped!

When this person started bullying me, I was angry (I still am sometimes)! I wanted to retaliate ( I still do sometimes!)! When I told my parents just how nasty this person was being, they encouraged me to love her and befriend her because she is clearly hurting and feels insecure in herself. I realized that God has placed her in my life for a reason. And since my sole purpose on this earth is to glorify god and share the gospel....I'm thinking that showing Christ's love is my answer! I felt inspired...I thought, "I'm going to love her, just like Christ loved(s) me! When she says hateful things , I'm going to respond with encouragement!" I went into work the next day feeling ready for whatever this girl might throw at me! And then it happened...she said something very hurtful....and I messed up, it was something small...I can't really remember, but that mistake lead to a string of nasty words and hateful looks! Without a second thought, adrenaline and anger running thorough my veins...I responded...perfectly, I might add if my goal was to be just as nasty as this girl!

Right after I said those words, I wished I could take them back, I remembered my goal and mission....to love her and show her Christ's love! Yeah I blew that one! I debated on whether or not to apologize, after all my response was totally justifiable and I had a right to feel that way! However, I started to feel guilty so I had to put my pride aside and apologize.

After apologizing and trying to purposefully treat her with kindness...it still hasn't changed her attitude or ways, but one day I pray that God will use this very messed up sacrifice of love to bring her to Himself!

I certainly don't do things perfectly! I could certainly treat her with more love and kindness! Her words still hurt and sting, but this is where God has me right now and He will give me the strength and patience and love to get through it!

View your bullies and enemies as your mission-field! Show Christ's love to them even when it's hard and trust me...it will be VERY hard!

Hope this encouraged you guys!!
I love you all!
Keep walking the straight and narrow!
Love,
Cait

Behind The Line Of Fire

**Warning...this post is not a light-hearted one!!**

"Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." 2 Timothy 3:12

Here are some facts about persecution....

Each month:
-322 Christians are killed for their faith
-214 Churches and Christian properties are destroyed
-772 Forms of violence are committed against Christians (such as beatings, abductions, rapes, arrests, and forced marriages) 

(opendoorsusa.com)

So, from these statistics...I think we can gather that Christian persecution still exists today!

No, it is not just an old biblical thing.

The thing that really sparked the idea for this post actually happened about a month an a half ago! Oh well, I needed time to really think and pray about this one!


Well...my wonderful grandmother, knowing how much I love the World War 2 era and any kind of spy...thing, took me to a presentation about Female spies during WWII! It was amazing!
I got to hear about all of these strong women, dedicated to their country and their mission!
I think I aspire to be like them after hearing some of their stories!

What really hit me was the fact that these women carried out their mission to the very end! Even if it meant having to sacrifice their life!

I was just so inspired by that! The fact that they kept going, even if their cover was blown!

I was thinking about this in relation to my own life...How does what they did apply to me? Right now...in the 21st century....for a 17 year old...or for anyone for that matter!

Well...I began to think....this could really relate to persecution!

I began to think of all the people in the various countries being held in prison, tortured, and the such, all because they refuse to denounce Jesus Christ as their Savior and turn their back on Him! They are the true heroes in my opinion!

They are there, never swaying from what they believe in, fighting the good fight! These Christians are dedicating their life to sharing the Gospel.

I have read stories of persecuted Christians that actually witness to their persecutors! They are that in love with Jesus that they want EVERYONE to know about His love, and grace!

We all face some kind f persecution in one way or another! Sure, in America we are not publicly persecuted, but we can be in little ways!

So what can we do with our persecutions?

Well we can start by praying for faith and perseverance just like our brothers and sisters in the other countries!
Christ will give us strength to get through anything! No matter the struggle!

What can we do about our brothers and sisters that are getting tortured and imprisoned for their beliefs?  

There is this amazing website called Voice of the Martyrs that is helping these people in tangible ways! Not to mention they give you personal things that you can pray for!

http://www.persecution.com/

Well that's it folks! Sorry for taking so long to get this out!! I kept rewriting it because it never sounded right! So...here is the 4th Edition!!

Love,
Cait