Lovin When I Don't Wanna

Awhile ago, I wrote a post about loving when it's hard....(you can read it here...http://catydidgirl.blogspot.com/2015/06/loving-when-its-hard.html) but what about those times when you just straight out don't want to love them and plain hate them (maybe hate is too strong of a word...or maybe not..)???

Be honest with yourself...I think we all have a person that we just down right refuse to love!

Don't worry....I'm not judging you!! Trust me!! I have people in my life that I just hate!! This post is as much for me as it is for you!!



Whether this person gave you reason to hate them or you just flat out want to hate them, it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter who they are, or why do have this level of dislike for them, you just do, and you kind of want to!

I uh, hate to break it to you though, (myself included) that this 'emotion' (ha, you got that right!!) towards this human being (are they even human?) is sin...(darn it!!) Yeah, God says to love everybody (maybe this person won't count, maybe, just maybe there will be a legitimate reason for me to be allowed to hate them...please!!)



Nope!!! God says in the Ten Commandments, to love your neighbor as much as yourself. Unless you completely despise and hate yourself, which I'm pretty sure you don't, since we are selfish human beings, who sometimes love ourselves too much...you have to love this person (it's okay, get red in the face, scream, and throw the nearest object next to you across the room...I did that already!)

I don't want to love the person I detest either! They have done so much to bother me and torment me...( I may have twisted their words a little bit, but hey, it's probably what they mean...right?)

However, if we are truly followers of Christ, we should desire to do what is right and love this person. But sometimes, I honestly, really, really, don't want to, despite what God says!!!

But here are somethings that help me take a step in the right direction.

1) Start viewing them as human beings with a soul: I know that sounds weird, but I think it's true!! Sometime when we hate somebody our emotions get in the way and we unconsciously (or consciously) view them monster-like and think that every word they say or everything they do is pure evil (maybe a bit of an exaggeration).

If none of you feel this way then...I'm going to delete this blog, shut my laptop, and personally admit myself to a psychiatric hospital because I clearly need help!!

If you do feel the same way, then GREAT!!! Well... okay maybe not great...but hey, at least I'm not crazy!

In all seriousness, when you start looking at this person and viewing them as a person with a soul and as someone who could either be going to heaven or hell, it creates a tenderness and compassion towards that person!

Again...a step in the right direction!

2) Stop twisting their words and actions!!! I know it's hard to break old habits, but really, it only strengthens your hate and feeds the emotion!

3) Put yourself in their shoes: A classic, might I add!!

4) Let it go: Right now I'm singing that song...and since you can't hear me...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU
You can thank me later!!!



Stopping this emotion won't happen over night, it will take LOTS of prayer, dedication, and patience! But trust me, it will be worth it! Hating someone is so straining and is a weight on your shoulders!



So there you are! it won't be easy, but with God's help you can do it!! We will all be trying to love the people we hat together! And dare I say...we might actually like them??? Who knows!!

Love you all!!!
Good Luck!!
~Cait

Challenges for Young Adults

I was recently asked...what the hardest thing was about being a young adult.

Oh, boy did I have a list!

I'm 17 years old (almost 18...give me a month!!) and a freshman in college.

One of the hardest things for me is...

the transition period from childhood and adulthood.

For example, in many areas of my life I am treated like an adult, given my age. While I make my own decisions, work, and go to college, etc...I still am under my parent's authority and must listen when they tell me to do something.

That transition time is extremely awkward and very confusing! You are being treated like and adult one minute and then treated like a child the next!



While this transition is necessary, it can be very hard and annoying.

Another challenging thing...

Insecurity...

Insecurity is rampant among children and teens, but I think it is just as bad in young adults because of this awkward crossroads stage. They don't really know what they want to do, where they fit in, etc.




I can totally sympathize and relate to that!

Lastly, balancing all aspect of life....meaning, balancing social, academic, work, hobbies, etc....all those things are important, but trying to balance it all is the real problem. You only have so many hours, minutes, and seconds in a day to fit family, friends, homework, hobbies, and work!! It can be pretty stressful!!!!



Those are just a few things that I personally think are the hardest for young adults!! Of course, those aren't the only hard things that we go through, but they were the first ones to come to mind and I think some of the biggest!!

~Cait

Loving When It's Hard

Love is hard!

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy or boast
Love is not arrogant
Love is not rude
Love does not insist on its own way
Love doesn't rejoice at the wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
LOVE NEVER ENDS!!!
(paraphrased from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

When we say the word 'love' what is the image that comes to your mind?

Typically we see something like this....




A romantic relationship between two people.

Just to be clear, I'm not talking about romantic interests in this post! That shall be for a different post one day!
No, this post is about loving when it's hard (in case you didn't catch that from the title!!) like...loving your enemies; the people that dislike you and bully you!

Now, I have never been bullied before...like ever! In fact I have pretty much always been the more popular kid...or at least liked by the majority of the group!

So when I started working I fully expected to be liked...or at the very least...tolerated! Well, one of my co-workers in particular absolutely hated me...and still does! She  gossiped behind my back (not very well though...because I could normally hear this person), said nasty things to my face, tried to make me fail and make things harder for me, etc! It was extremely eye opening and extremely hurtful! Thankfully friends at work told me to brush it off and not let it get to me! They continued to build me up and encourage me, which really helped!

When this person started bullying me, I was angry (I still am sometimes)! I wanted to retaliate ( I still do sometimes!)! When I told my parents just how nasty this person was being, they encouraged me to love her and befriend her because she is clearly hurting and feels insecure in herself. I realized that God has placed her in my life for a reason. And since my sole purpose on this earth is to glorify god and share the gospel....I'm thinking that showing Christ's love is my answer! I felt inspired...I thought, "I'm going to love her, just like Christ loved(s) me! When she says hateful things , I'm going to respond with encouragement!" I went into work the next day feeling ready for whatever this girl might throw at me! And then it happened...she said something very hurtful....and I messed up, it was something small...I can't really remember, but that mistake lead to a string of nasty words and hateful looks! Without a second thought, adrenaline and anger running thorough my veins...I responded...perfectly, I might add if my goal was to be just as nasty as this girl!

Right after I said those words, I wished I could take them back, I remembered my goal and mission....to love her and show her Christ's love! Yeah I blew that one! I debated on whether or not to apologize, after all my response was totally justifiable and I had a right to feel that way! However, I started to feel guilty so I had to put my pride aside and apologize.

After apologizing and trying to purposefully treat her with kindness...it still hasn't changed her attitude or ways, but one day I pray that God will use this very messed up sacrifice of love to bring her to Himself!

I certainly don't do things perfectly! I could certainly treat her with more love and kindness! Her words still hurt and sting, but this is where God has me right now and He will give me the strength and patience and love to get through it!

View your bullies and enemies as your mission-field! Show Christ's love to them even when it's hard and trust me...it will be VERY hard!

Hope this encouraged you guys!!
I love you all!
Keep walking the straight and narrow!
Love,
Cait