Lovin When I Don't Wanna

Awhile ago, I wrote a post about loving when it's hard....(you can read it here...http://catydidgirl.blogspot.com/2015/06/loving-when-its-hard.html) but what about those times when you just straight out don't want to love them and plain hate them (maybe hate is too strong of a word...or maybe not..)???

Be honest with yourself...I think we all have a person that we just down right refuse to love!

Don't worry....I'm not judging you!! Trust me!! I have people in my life that I just hate!! This post is as much for me as it is for you!!



Whether this person gave you reason to hate them or you just flat out want to hate them, it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter who they are, or why do have this level of dislike for them, you just do, and you kind of want to!

I uh, hate to break it to you though, (myself included) that this 'emotion' (ha, you got that right!!) towards this human being (are they even human?) is sin...(darn it!!) Yeah, God says to love everybody (maybe this person won't count, maybe, just maybe there will be a legitimate reason for me to be allowed to hate them...please!!)



Nope!!! God says in the Ten Commandments, to love your neighbor as much as yourself. Unless you completely despise and hate yourself, which I'm pretty sure you don't, since we are selfish human beings, who sometimes love ourselves too much...you have to love this person (it's okay, get red in the face, scream, and throw the nearest object next to you across the room...I did that already!)

I don't want to love the person I detest either! They have done so much to bother me and torment me...( I may have twisted their words a little bit, but hey, it's probably what they mean...right?)

However, if we are truly followers of Christ, we should desire to do what is right and love this person. But sometimes, I honestly, really, really, don't want to, despite what God says!!!

But here are somethings that help me take a step in the right direction.

1) Start viewing them as human beings with a soul: I know that sounds weird, but I think it's true!! Sometime when we hate somebody our emotions get in the way and we unconsciously (or consciously) view them monster-like and think that every word they say or everything they do is pure evil (maybe a bit of an exaggeration).

If none of you feel this way then...I'm going to delete this blog, shut my laptop, and personally admit myself to a psychiatric hospital because I clearly need help!!

If you do feel the same way, then GREAT!!! Well... okay maybe not great...but hey, at least I'm not crazy!

In all seriousness, when you start looking at this person and viewing them as a person with a soul and as someone who could either be going to heaven or hell, it creates a tenderness and compassion towards that person!

Again...a step in the right direction!

2) Stop twisting their words and actions!!! I know it's hard to break old habits, but really, it only strengthens your hate and feeds the emotion!

3) Put yourself in their shoes: A classic, might I add!!

4) Let it go: Right now I'm singing that song...and since you can't hear me...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU
You can thank me later!!!



Stopping this emotion won't happen over night, it will take LOTS of prayer, dedication, and patience! But trust me, it will be worth it! Hating someone is so straining and is a weight on your shoulders!



So there you are! it won't be easy, but with God's help you can do it!! We will all be trying to love the people we hat together! And dare I say...we might actually like them??? Who knows!!

Love you all!!!
Good Luck!!
~Cait

Broken Community Redeemed

"No matter how you are wired-introvert, extrovert, socially adept or socially awkward- something in your soul longs for meaningful relationships with other humans. We long to know others and be known by the. We treasure friendships that allow us to truly 'be ourselves.' Though some of us have never found this sort of community and though others have been deeply wounded by relationships, all of us still long for deep, authentic, real community." -From the book the Gospel-Centered Community by Robert H. Thune and Will Walker

Wow...

But wait...

Why do we crave these kind of relationships? Why are they so deeply rooted in us?



Well, we are made in the image of God....and God is community...He is made up of three persons: The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit (the Trinity)

Because we are made to reflect God's image and His likeness, we desire deep community.

But if deep community is something we want and is part of us being made in God's image then why do we have such a hard time attaining and achieving these types of meaningful human relationships that God apparently wired us for?

Well...there is a very simple answer...sin

Think about all your relationships for a minute...

Think about your nature with those relationships...now i'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but I think sin nature gives me leave to say that your tendency is to use people to meet your own needs. We often are self-focused, pursue our own interests and desires, and try to protect ourselves from people and relationships that might hurt us or demand too much of us.

Am I right?

If you don't believe me think about it like this,

How often have you intentionally avoided someone who drives you crazy and annoys the crap out of you?

Or...

Have stopped pursuing certain friendships or other relationships just because they were no longer useful to you?



And lastly....

stayed in an unhealthy relationship just so you wouldn't feel alone.

I'm sure each one of us can relate to at least one of these...

Now that we are all on the same page and realize just how selfish we are, I think we can move on....

Our selfish tendencies show us that something went really wrong in our pursuit for community. Even though we are made in God's image, we have fallen short.

Because we are selfish and self-absorbed, we are prevented from reflecting God like we were created to do!

We don't believe what is true...we believe lies...which, ultimately leads to bad behavior and negative emotions!

Unbelief was the root of the first sin...(Eve believed Satan's lie that her eyes would be opened if she at the forbidden fruit and would become like God)

Unbelief inhibits us form seeing and believing God's truths about our world and ourselves! We are not trusting God's goodness!!!!

Sin is so deadly that it isn't just that we don't believe it is that without Christ we are UNABLE to believe...

Sin has caused us to become self-focused causing us to ruin our relationships with others...



Now that I have just totally angered you about just how selfish you are... you will probably unsubscribe from my blog, unfollow me on Facebook, and never talk to me again....

BUT WAIT!!!!! Before you do any of that, I have good news for you!!!!

Because we are so sinful, we NEED someone who can save us from our unbelief and selfishness and restore us so that we can have true, deep lasting relationships and community!

We call this good new...wait for it...the GOSPEL!!!

God, ever merciful, sent His only son, Jesus, to earth as our substitute for eternal death! Wow!!!

Isn't that beautiful?

All that we have to do is humble ourselves, acknowledge that we need Him and turn to him!! That's it!! The Bible has a fancy word for this...Redemption~to be delivered, ransomed, or set free.

So we know that Jesus redeemed us from our sin and its effects on our lives, but what did he redeem us for? There had to have been a reason! Well...one of the main things that Jesus accomplishes when He redeems us is to restore our capacity for community!

Not for a community of people who look and act just like us, but for a community of all different kinds of people!

Because God first created us for community...and Jesus redeemed us for community...He has mad us into His very own body (not to be weird or anything...just go with it!), which enables us to live, love, and to share His 'good news' or gospel with other people!

But hold on there....Jesus redeeming us for community is great and all, but why is it still so hard?? Why is there tension? Why do people still fight?

Good question...Jesus delivered us from sin, but he hasn't yet gotten rid of sin from our world yet!! And...because sin is still in the world..we are still prone to unbelief...

We so easily forget the gospel and what Jesus has done for us, and quickly fall back into sin and selfishness!

Building and enjoying healthy relationships requires us to actually believe the gospel. But, this requires us to intentionally focus and identify the unbelief in our hearts that hinders our ability to love and serve others and to receive love from them in return!

But before we can truly love others and accept their love...we must first receive the healing, liberating truths of the gospel.

This work of ongoing transformation takes place in....guess where....COMMUNITY!!!




Love,
          ~ Cait