Lovin When I Don't Wanna

Awhile ago, I wrote a post about loving when it's hard....(you can read it here...http://catydidgirl.blogspot.com/2015/06/loving-when-its-hard.html) but what about those times when you just straight out don't want to love them and plain hate them (maybe hate is too strong of a word...or maybe not..)???

Be honest with yourself...I think we all have a person that we just down right refuse to love!

Don't worry....I'm not judging you!! Trust me!! I have people in my life that I just hate!! This post is as much for me as it is for you!!



Whether this person gave you reason to hate them or you just flat out want to hate them, it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter who they are, or why do have this level of dislike for them, you just do, and you kind of want to!

I uh, hate to break it to you though, (myself included) that this 'emotion' (ha, you got that right!!) towards this human being (are they even human?) is sin...(darn it!!) Yeah, God says to love everybody (maybe this person won't count, maybe, just maybe there will be a legitimate reason for me to be allowed to hate them...please!!)



Nope!!! God says in the Ten Commandments, to love your neighbor as much as yourself. Unless you completely despise and hate yourself, which I'm pretty sure you don't, since we are selfish human beings, who sometimes love ourselves too much...you have to love this person (it's okay, get red in the face, scream, and throw the nearest object next to you across the room...I did that already!)

I don't want to love the person I detest either! They have done so much to bother me and torment me...( I may have twisted their words a little bit, but hey, it's probably what they mean...right?)

However, if we are truly followers of Christ, we should desire to do what is right and love this person. But sometimes, I honestly, really, really, don't want to, despite what God says!!!

But here are somethings that help me take a step in the right direction.

1) Start viewing them as human beings with a soul: I know that sounds weird, but I think it's true!! Sometime when we hate somebody our emotions get in the way and we unconsciously (or consciously) view them monster-like and think that every word they say or everything they do is pure evil (maybe a bit of an exaggeration).

If none of you feel this way then...I'm going to delete this blog, shut my laptop, and personally admit myself to a psychiatric hospital because I clearly need help!!

If you do feel the same way, then GREAT!!! Well... okay maybe not great...but hey, at least I'm not crazy!

In all seriousness, when you start looking at this person and viewing them as a person with a soul and as someone who could either be going to heaven or hell, it creates a tenderness and compassion towards that person!

Again...a step in the right direction!

2) Stop twisting their words and actions!!! I know it's hard to break old habits, but really, it only strengthens your hate and feeds the emotion!

3) Put yourself in their shoes: A classic, might I add!!

4) Let it go: Right now I'm singing that song...and since you can't hear me...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU
You can thank me later!!!



Stopping this emotion won't happen over night, it will take LOTS of prayer, dedication, and patience! But trust me, it will be worth it! Hating someone is so straining and is a weight on your shoulders!



So there you are! it won't be easy, but with God's help you can do it!! We will all be trying to love the people we hat together! And dare I say...we might actually like them??? Who knows!!

Love you all!!!
Good Luck!!
~Cait

Broken Community Redeemed

"No matter how you are wired-introvert, extrovert, socially adept or socially awkward- something in your soul longs for meaningful relationships with other humans. We long to know others and be known by the. We treasure friendships that allow us to truly 'be ourselves.' Though some of us have never found this sort of community and though others have been deeply wounded by relationships, all of us still long for deep, authentic, real community." -From the book the Gospel-Centered Community by Robert H. Thune and Will Walker

Wow...

But wait...

Why do we crave these kind of relationships? Why are they so deeply rooted in us?



Well, we are made in the image of God....and God is community...He is made up of three persons: The Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit (the Trinity)

Because we are made to reflect God's image and His likeness, we desire deep community.

But if deep community is something we want and is part of us being made in God's image then why do we have such a hard time attaining and achieving these types of meaningful human relationships that God apparently wired us for?

Well...there is a very simple answer...sin

Think about all your relationships for a minute...

Think about your nature with those relationships...now i'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but I think sin nature gives me leave to say that your tendency is to use people to meet your own needs. We often are self-focused, pursue our own interests and desires, and try to protect ourselves from people and relationships that might hurt us or demand too much of us.

Am I right?

If you don't believe me think about it like this,

How often have you intentionally avoided someone who drives you crazy and annoys the crap out of you?

Or...

Have stopped pursuing certain friendships or other relationships just because they were no longer useful to you?



And lastly....

stayed in an unhealthy relationship just so you wouldn't feel alone.

I'm sure each one of us can relate to at least one of these...

Now that we are all on the same page and realize just how selfish we are, I think we can move on....

Our selfish tendencies show us that something went really wrong in our pursuit for community. Even though we are made in God's image, we have fallen short.

Because we are selfish and self-absorbed, we are prevented from reflecting God like we were created to do!

We don't believe what is true...we believe lies...which, ultimately leads to bad behavior and negative emotions!

Unbelief was the root of the first sin...(Eve believed Satan's lie that her eyes would be opened if she at the forbidden fruit and would become like God)

Unbelief inhibits us form seeing and believing God's truths about our world and ourselves! We are not trusting God's goodness!!!!

Sin is so deadly that it isn't just that we don't believe it is that without Christ we are UNABLE to believe...

Sin has caused us to become self-focused causing us to ruin our relationships with others...



Now that I have just totally angered you about just how selfish you are... you will probably unsubscribe from my blog, unfollow me on Facebook, and never talk to me again....

BUT WAIT!!!!! Before you do any of that, I have good news for you!!!!

Because we are so sinful, we NEED someone who can save us from our unbelief and selfishness and restore us so that we can have true, deep lasting relationships and community!

We call this good new...wait for it...the GOSPEL!!!

God, ever merciful, sent His only son, Jesus, to earth as our substitute for eternal death! Wow!!!

Isn't that beautiful?

All that we have to do is humble ourselves, acknowledge that we need Him and turn to him!! That's it!! The Bible has a fancy word for this...Redemption~to be delivered, ransomed, or set free.

So we know that Jesus redeemed us from our sin and its effects on our lives, but what did he redeem us for? There had to have been a reason! Well...one of the main things that Jesus accomplishes when He redeems us is to restore our capacity for community!

Not for a community of people who look and act just like us, but for a community of all different kinds of people!

Because God first created us for community...and Jesus redeemed us for community...He has mad us into His very own body (not to be weird or anything...just go with it!), which enables us to live, love, and to share His 'good news' or gospel with other people!

But hold on there....Jesus redeeming us for community is great and all, but why is it still so hard?? Why is there tension? Why do people still fight?

Good question...Jesus delivered us from sin, but he hasn't yet gotten rid of sin from our world yet!! And...because sin is still in the world..we are still prone to unbelief...

We so easily forget the gospel and what Jesus has done for us, and quickly fall back into sin and selfishness!

Building and enjoying healthy relationships requires us to actually believe the gospel. But, this requires us to intentionally focus and identify the unbelief in our hearts that hinders our ability to love and serve others and to receive love from them in return!

But before we can truly love others and accept their love...we must first receive the healing, liberating truths of the gospel.

This work of ongoing transformation takes place in....guess where....COMMUNITY!!!




Love,
          ~ Cait

What is Our Purpose in Life?

What is our purpose in life?



That is the million dollar question...one that people have been asking themselves for centuries! Philosophers and teachers have been arguing and debating this one question coming up with many different answers!



So what is our purpose here? We have to be breathing for a reason...right?? I sure hope so!

Is it to have the coolest job? Have the most money? Have many fans and friends? Have the best kids? Or is it to find true love?

Is our purpose in life to have great success???



Many people believe that success is our sole purpose in life! Wow....I would definitely be failing in life then...just saying!!

But once you get to the end of your life does money, love, jobs, house, etc really matter?

As believers we live for something so, so much more!

We live for Christ!!

Which, can I just say, is the greatest honor given to mankind?!?

God created us in the very beginning of time to glorify and praise Him!

We live for something greater than ourselves! Sure, we think that we are pretty great and that living for ourselves wouldn't be so bad, but it is so pointless!!!

Can you take success, money, fame, friends, and family with you once to die? We would like to think we could...but we can't!

So glorifying God is the number one purpose of life!!

It honestly just makes sense that we should worship and glorify the very being that created and brought us to life!!!!

Spreading the gospel to unbelievers is another one of our purposes in life!!



God commanded us to share the gospel!!! And why wouldn't we want to??

If you know something exciting and it has drastically changed your life don't you want to share it with everyone?? Sure!! It is something exciting and important to you and you just want everyone else to share in the excitement!!
For example...you found your soul-mate...the love of your life!!! You are so excited and happy that you just want everyone else around you happy too... so you try to match up your friends and make them happy!!!

How is that any different than wanting to share God's love and redemption story with everyone around? Except for the fact that a person's eternal salvation is on the line, while match-making friends isn't!!

Our purpose in life is to glorify God and share the gospel!!! Not too hard right?? Hahaha... if only our own selfish desires didn't get in the way... right?

Challenges for Young Adults

I was recently asked...what the hardest thing was about being a young adult.

Oh, boy did I have a list!

I'm 17 years old (almost 18...give me a month!!) and a freshman in college.

One of the hardest things for me is...

the transition period from childhood and adulthood.

For example, in many areas of my life I am treated like an adult, given my age. While I make my own decisions, work, and go to college, etc...I still am under my parent's authority and must listen when they tell me to do something.

That transition time is extremely awkward and very confusing! You are being treated like and adult one minute and then treated like a child the next!



While this transition is necessary, it can be very hard and annoying.

Another challenging thing...

Insecurity...

Insecurity is rampant among children and teens, but I think it is just as bad in young adults because of this awkward crossroads stage. They don't really know what they want to do, where they fit in, etc.




I can totally sympathize and relate to that!

Lastly, balancing all aspect of life....meaning, balancing social, academic, work, hobbies, etc....all those things are important, but trying to balance it all is the real problem. You only have so many hours, minutes, and seconds in a day to fit family, friends, homework, hobbies, and work!! It can be pretty stressful!!!!



Those are just a few things that I personally think are the hardest for young adults!! Of course, those aren't the only hard things that we go through, but they were the first ones to come to mind and I think some of the biggest!!

~Cait

Listening to Understand

I LOVE to talk! Trust me! It's one of my best qualities!! I rarely am at a loss of what to talk about! Rarely!!

While my strong point is talking, my weak point is listening! During a conversation I have noticed that I tend to tune the other person out and start thinking about what I'm going to say next.

I saw this quote yesterday and thought it worded this problem perfectly!!

Here it is....

"The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply."
-Gabriel Garcia Marquiz



I so often listen to reply and don't take the time to really hear what that other person is saying. It makes me wonder, am I really caring and loving that person by tuning them out and selfishly trying to determine what I'm going to say next? No, of course not!!! What I'm doing is completely selfish and unloving!!

Now, having thought out replies is a good thing and is a wise move, however, focusing on what the other person is ACTUALLY saying can help in having an intelligent comeback and lead to a very thoughtful conversation.



You can learn a lot about people when you actually listen to them and hear what they have to say!

Now, the hardest part is actually listening to understand not to just reply.

The action part is way harder than just recognizing the problem!!
This is the part that I still struggle with!

So I think that once you recognize that you struggle with listening, you can move onto spending time in prayer, asking God to help you overcome this struggle, because we obviously can't do it by ourselves! I think we also need to start changing our thinking- it's not about how many words we can get into a conversation, it's about what you can learn from a conversation or how you can encourage this other person!

Some people just want a listening ear! They don't always want someone to try to insert their opinions or solutions, but someone who will encourage them and just hear and understand them! So start thinking about it that way! Start telling yourself that this person really needs someone to just listen not talk!!


Not to mention, your relationships are guaranteed to be strengthened just by listening to understand, because...

1) You are putting someone else's needs above your own.

and.....

2) You are actually hearing their likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams, struggles, etc!

You can learn a lot about someone just by talking to them!

I know I didn't have an actual solution for you guys, I'm still trying to figure it out myself! But I hope, f nothing else you can know that you aren't the only one who struggles with this!

Praying for you guys!!

Love,
Cait

All About Me...Round 2

So I did an 'All About Me' post when I first started blogging, but that has been quite a few months ago!! Not that I, personally, have changed...it's just that I have new people viewing my blog and well....in all honesty...who doesn't like talking about themselves?

Ahem...I just said that...whoops...

Okay...moving on!

Actually...I don't really have anything big right now to share with you all so I had to do something!! Anything!!

So, I thought I would find some questions...like 'get to know you' questions and answer them! I just picked these questions randomly so I'm not really sure what all I got!!

Okay so first things first..Some important and random things about me...

I'm 17 and 9 months and my favorite color is blue (really random, I know...I just feel like that is one of the first things that people ask you!) ....I just graduated High School and am continuing my education in Nursing...ummm, even though I'm going into Nursing my dream job would to probably be a stunt driver...I LOVE the thrill! (I'm a safe driver though...don't worry!!)

Now to the questions!
1) If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Hmmmmm, such a hard question...I want to go everywhere!! I guess if I had to pick one place it would probably be India!

 

Look at that!! Who wouldn't want to go there! I think their culture is so fascinating! So if I had to pick ONE place...India it would be! 

2) Who, in the United States do you think has the coolest job? Why? 

Okay, so I guess I have two answers...one totally serious the other...more fun

I think the coolest job that someone could possibly have would be our missionaries! Day in and day out they are doing the Lord's work, bringing people to Christ! To me...that is the coolest thing ever!! So I guess we are all missionaries in a sense...sharing the gospel with everyone we come into contact with! At least, that's how it should be! ;)

The second answer to that question I think would be our special ops (Seals, Delta, etc)...with my brother wanting to go into that kind of field I hear about the kind of stuff they do ALL THE TIME!!! Super cool! 

3) What do you think is the most dangerous thing for a teenager and why? 

 

Woah...this question is going deep!! I think one of the most dangerous things for a teenager would be our lack of confidence in both our abilities and ourselves! I think so many problems would be solved if we weren't so scared to show or act on our God given abilities! 

4) What qualities do you look for in a friend? 

 

-Loyalty

-honesty

-someone who puts in as much in for the friendship as I do!

-someone who has the same morals

-someone who has about the same goals in life

5) Where do I see myself in 10 years? 

Let's see...I would be 27....

I guess I could see myself working in a Shock Trauma or ER setting at a local hospital. God-willing I would be married and have a couple kids! 

6) What are the top 5 things you like to do?

-Hang out with friends doing pretty much anything! As long as I am with people...I don't care!

-Reading

-Writing...obviously!!

-Pretty much anything active, hiking, exercising, sports (I'm REALLY bad at all of them though)

-and taking pictures

7) One favorite quote

Seriously?!?! Just one!! I have a whole book of my favorite quotes!! 

If I have to pick just one...it would be ....

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies. Succeed anyway. What you spend years building someone can destroy overnight. Build anyway. If you are hones people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous, Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."- Mother Theresa

She was an amazing woman and did amazing work in India! 

8) What did you do growing up that got you into trouble?

 Ugg I always got into trouble! I probably got into the most trouble for my back-talking...I was and still am a sassy one! 

9) What do you miss most abut being a kid? 

 

I miss not being worried or stressed about anything and having quite the imagination!  I mean I still do...but if I played the same things that I did when I was 8 I would probably be put into a mental institution!

Last Question!!

10) What has been your biggest success so far? 

I think those words that Paul wrote to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:12

¹² Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

have really rung true in my life! Learning to do hard things and not let the cliche...teenagers are incapable of doing anything ring true for my life has been a big thing! 

I went to a conference a long time ago (like 7 years ago)...the conference was called Do Hard Things and it was all about rebelling against the low expectations that society has for us teens! It was a life changer! That was when God pushed me outside of my comfort zone by raising money/running a 5K, going on multiple mission trips and planning a benefit concert for orphan awareness! 

So I would say, God pushing me out of my comfort zone has created some of the best memories and my greatest successes!!

Well that's it friends! Hopefully you got to know me a little better!! If you have any questions for me comment below, shoot me a message or post on my facebook page! 

Love you all! 

Cait